No animals were harmed in the writing of this joke

A man starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
As he does this, a huge fish jumps out and bites him.
To show the others who’s boss, he beats it to death with a spade.

Realising his employer won’t be best pleased;
he disposes of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on to the second job of clearing out the chimp house,
he is attacked by the chimps who pelt him with coconuts.
He swipes at two chimps with a spade, killing them both.
What can he do?
Feed them to the lions, he says to himself,
because lions eat anything.
He hurls the corpses into the lion enclosure.

He moved on to the last job,
which is to collect honey from the South African bees.
As soon as he starts, he is attacked by the bees.
He grabs the spade and smashes the bees to a pulp.
By now he knows what to do and throws them into the lion’s cage
– because lions eat anything.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo.
He wanders up to another lion and says
‘What’s the food like here?’
The lions say
‘Absolutely brilliant. Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees.’



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5 thoughts on “No animals were harmed in the writing of this joke

  1. Sorry about that, my little Sis e-mailed that to me, I knew you’d want me share. You’re lucky I didn’t post the others!

  2. That’s actually quite good….

    Thanks for the info on the photography competition…It’s only for photos of Chichester harbour, isn’t it? Don’t normally hang out in that neck of the woods, my visit last weekend was a one off. Still, entries don’t have to be in for ages……

  3. Bad Jokes unite! We should start a group GW. Would you like to be the Chairperson, Vice-Chairperson, Secretary or Treasurer?

    I’ll get busy on a logo and such… maybe some letterhead and while I’m at it, perhaps we need a mascot. Think DP would consider hiring out Gertrude?

    Goodness… so much to do now. Let me know which executive position you’d like.

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